Connecting With Adult-Wary Kids
1. Recast all problems as learning opportunities
“Please coach me, don’t scold me”
2. Provide fail-safe relationships
“A person like me really needs a fan club”
3. Increase dosages of nurturance
“I need to believe that you really care”
4. Don’t crowd
“When you get too close I will back away for a while”
5. Use the back door
“If you can help me do well you are important”
6. Decode the meaning of behaviour
“I try to hide what I really think”
7. Be authoritative not authoritarian
“Help me to control me”
8. Model respect to the disrespectful
“Your respect helps build mine”
9. Enlist youth as colleagues
“We are the only real experts on ourselves”
10. Touch in small ways
“I watch little things you do to discover who you are”
11. Give seeds time to grow
“Please be patient with me – I’m still learning”
12. Connect youth to cultural and spiritual roots
“I need to know there is a purpose for my life”